The Perks of Magic
by Woman Of The Book
Summary: As Arthur, Merlin, and the Knights visit a neighboring kingdom for a peace treaty, the group finds themselves surprised at the feast. But, according to Arthur, will Merlin muck it up or does he have something bigger up his sleeve? Crack, Arthur knows of Merlin's magic, oneshot.


"-And since we will not be used to their different traditions, I kindly _request_ you to not muck this peace treaty up?" Arthur turned to face Merlin, and was irked to realize that the whole time his manservant had tuned him out.

"Merlin!" Arthur snapped.

Merlin, who had been revising the spell on how to numb his tongue cells for the next time he had to take a vile potion of Gaius' meanwhile, suddenly jerked his head at the sound of his irritated King.

"Yes?" He asked, wide eyed with innocence.

Barely reigning his frustration, Arthur feigned patience. "Tell me Merlin, did your overly large ears happen to hear anything I had been mumbling?"

Merlin frowned, off track with Arthur's choice of words.

"Something about your sore arse sire?" Merlin beamed.

Arthur merely sighed, rubbing a hand across his weary face.

"Just... Don't mess anything up Merlin," the King turned back to face the direction of where they were heading, and Merlin's smile dropped as he regarded his King in worry. But he was soon distracted by the fact that he suddenly couldn't feel his tongue.

" _Oops_."

* * *

"Ah, King Arthur!" The rather pale King James there his hands around Arthur in a strong hug, not letting him go for a few awkward moments while Merlin watched on with a grin from behind Arthur, the minimal weight of Arthur's bags temporarily forgotten.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet with you," King James said when he eventually let go of the blonde. Arthur, for his part gave a wide grin in return, which Merlin could recognize was to mask his surprise at being hugged by a man he had just met face to face with for the first time.

"The pleasure is mine," Arthur offered.

Smiling widely, which was starting to make Merlin compare it to that of a snake, James drew back his arm, and a woman stepped forward.

"I'd like you to meet my wife, Jasmine."

He wrapped his arm around the woman that nearly reminded Merlin of Nimueh, but instead the warlock was distracted by wondering how pale could a person go just by a cold climate.

"Very pleased to meet you Arthur," Queen Jasmine grinned, flashing her white teeth.

"Likewise," Arthur nodded his head in greeting, gently taking the Queen's hand and pressing a kiss to it before promptly letting go.

"My servant here will show you to your rooms Arthur. I look forward to seeing you tonight after freshening up, we have prepared our special meet in honor of your arrival," James beamed proudly, and while Merlin would have rolled his eyes at the faces he knew Gwaine would be making behind them, he had to admit, the sound of food did sound appeasing.

Thank the goddess he managed to get rid of the tongue-numbing enchantment.

* * *

"We may be known around Albion for our brilliant livestock and weather, but I personally feel that our meals aren't getting the attention they deserve," James said as they seated. Arthur flashed a smile, but both he and Merlin along with the Round Table Knights were staring at the dishes on the table, all covered unfortunately.

"Well then, I certainly look forward to trying your food," Arthur said, never missing a beat. Behind him, Merlin started to frown at the familiar smell wafting from the covered dishes.

"Mm. My wife and I exclusively love it for the stringy texture," Merlin barely had a moment to contemplate how oddly familiar those words were when James gestured to his servants, and immediately they rushed forward to uncover the trays.

Merlin had to struggle to not drop his pitcher of wine.

In front of Arthur and the Knights, more than twenty assortment of dishes hosted a variety of stews, broths, breads, meat pieces, whatever the men could think of. And the main centerpiece?

Smack in the center of the table, on the highest plate of them all, multiple skinned rats lay on their stomach, faces outwards. And in each of their tiny mouths, a small cube of an apple.

In front of him, Merlin heard a barely concealed gag.

He couldn't agree more.

Oblivious to his guest's distress, King James started to gesture to his servants to serve them. Immediately, they sprang forward and started to pour generous amounts of almost each and every dish there was.

Too soon, they stood back, and Merlin had to choke back a laughter when he saw how full his friend's dishes were. For the first time in his life, he was happy that he was there to serve and not to eat.

Especially seeing how Arthur somehow got the head of a rat, apple still in its mouth.

Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin could just see Gwaine staring at the apple in the rat's mouth, his expression mostly unreadable, but most likely shock. Merlin turned back to face their hosts to find the Queen looking at Arthur with a pout.

"Oh dear," she took in his slightly pale face. Despite being - hopefully - very dead, why did Arthur feel like that the rat was nonetheless still watching him?

"Do you not like our food?" She asked sadly. Arthur immediately started to fervently shake his head.

"No, not at all!" He exclaimed. Slowly, Merlin could see a grin spread on his king's face. "It's just that in Camelot, before having the best of dishes, we let the servants eat so they can have a taste of their hard work as well. And I really, _truly_ , wouldn't want my manservant to miss out on this simply... Delicious course!" Arthur exclaimed, already half turning in his chair towards Merlin.

"Oh, well then," after barely a moment's pause, Queen Jasmine made a gesture that looked more rude than anything, but it must have been right for a servant pulled up a chair beside Arthur.

They all looked towards Merlin expectantly.

"Do sit down, _Mer_ lin," the widest grin was pulling at Arthur's lips, and from the Knight's side of the table, Merlin heard a snicker covered by a cough.

" _Bloody traitors_."

Instead of saying anything aloud though, he merely cast the hosts his big winning smile, with a more murderous glance towards Arthur before slowly sitting down.

Immediately, his stomach clenched at the sight of the dead rat's eye staring at him. Out of the three rats, it seemed like he was served the second one alongside Arthur's. Big honor indeed.

" _Honor my arse_."

"I'm sincerely so honored to be able to taste your food, your Majesties," with a respectful nod towards the beaming King and Queen, he started to pick up his spoon. No one noticed his eyes flash gold when he bent his down.

Dipping his spoon into the bowl, Merlin brought it to his lips, closing his eyes as he did so. To others, it may have looked as if he was focusing on the taste alone, but truly, he was focusing on the sudden _lack_ of taste.

" _Thank the goddess_."

He opened his eyes, making them wide with surprise as he exclaimed aloud. He had to quickly hold back a smirk at seeing Arthur's almost jump, a smug look on his face. A look that soon changed to shock when Merlin made the most delighted sounds ever.

"Lord have mercy! This is by far, the _best_ meal I had ever had!" Merlin exaggerated. As if to prove his point, he he quickly took in another spoon, eyes closing again in preparation and opening in relief when he tasted nothing yet again except for the burn of the hot liquid as it went down his throat.

With a loud, fake sigh only contentment, Merlin sat back, making sure not to slouch though in disrespect.

"Beautiful," he finished.

With a suspicious look, and a silent prompt from King James, Arthur tentatively dipped his spoon into the bowl of the same stew Merlin had. Putting into his mouth, his eyes widened in shock as the true taste hit his tongue, and Merlin had to fight the urge to laugh strongly.

It was a few seconds before Arthur managed to control his facial expression again. And when he did, he simply smiled at the fellow King.

"My manservant is correct, this is truly so wondrous, I'm speechless," only Merlin detected the faint, nauseated tone in Arthur's voice. But detecting that Arthur wasn't going to vomit everywhere any time too soon, Merlin merely got up, cast a smile and a nod towards his King and King James, and rightfully took his place behind Arthur.

Arthur and the Knights slowly continued to eat, occasionally singing praise of the food Merlin was sure was killing their taste buds. Nonetheless, he didn't take off the tongue-numbing spell for the rest of the night.

* * *

On their way back after a long week of rat involving meals, Arthur was surprisingly quiet along the ride. It wasn't too long before Merlin couldn't resist poking a jibe.

"I bet you're going to miss the food, aren't you sire?"

He shook with laughter at Arthur's stuff face.

"Not a word Merlin, should you find yourselves in the stocks for a week," Arthur threatened. Merlin silenced immediately, but a few moments later, he opened his mouth again.

"So you don't want me to put the tongue-numbing spell on you as well the next time we visit?"

The forest rang with Merlin's laughter at the highly irritated King's yell of his manservant's name.


End file.
